Navigating Difficult Feelings in Communication | Effective Communication | Emotional Communication
Effective communication can be challenging, especially when it comes to expressing difficult feelings. Learn how to navigate emotional communication without hurting your listener. Discover strategies for improving your communication skills today.
MONTHLY STATEMENTS
John Gray once said, 'To expect communication to be easy is unrealistic. Some feelings are very difficult to communicate without hurting the listener. It is indeed quite a challenge to understand someone's point of view when what they are saying isn't aligned with what you want or need to hear. It requires a great deal of patience and empathy to fully grasp the essence of someone else's message during difficult conversations.' He further elaborated that, 'A relationship is akin to a garden. If it is to truly thrive, it must be nourished and watered regularly, just as a plant needs sunlight and soil quality. Special care must be taken into consideration, reflecting on the seasons as well as any unpredicted weather patterns that might arise. New seeds represent new experiences or initiatives that must be sown, while weeds symbolize the negativity or issues that must be addressed and eliminated. Similarly, to keep the magic of love alive and vibrant, we must aim to understand its seasons and nurture love's unique and special needs.'
You don't chew food with your front teeth, and similarly, one does not approach life’s challenges with a shallow mindset. It is even said that you can't worry successfully on an empty stomach or get angry while lying down, as emotional turmoil often requires a certain level of energy and engagement. I once read that worry is a great modern plague that we should consciously work to overcome. The destructive nature of worry is indicated by the fact that the word 'worry' itself is derived from an old Anglo-Saxon term meaning 'to choke,' a fascinating insight into how this emotion can constrain our well-being. If someone were to put his fingers around your throat and press hard, cutting off the flow of vital power, it would be a dramatic demonstration of what you do to yourself by continuously holding onto long-held and habitual worries that serve no purpose.
From the book, The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale, it is written that many people find themselves entrenched in the manufacturing business, albeit in an emotional sense. They manufacture their own unhappiness by the attitudes they habitually adopt, such as the negative feeling that everything is destined to turn out badly or that other people are receiving what they perceive as undeserved rewards while they themselves are somehow failing to obtain what they rightfully deserve. This perpetual cycle of negativity can be exhausting and counterproductive, impacting both personal and professional lives.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is to think they can re-invent the wheel. However, one only needs to innovate, improve, and add substantial value to the existing wheel that is already in motion. Thomas Edison did not invent the light bulb; rather, he made vital improvements that transformed it into a successful business venture. That is the fundamental difference between a SUCCESS and FAILURE in today’s rapidly evolving setting. Makerere University Engineering department should reconsider the necessity of trying to re-make the car from scratch. Not many would be willing to pay $50,000 for a Ugandan vehicle when, for an additional $50,000, they could acquire a new Range Rover, Rolls Royce, or Mercedes. It's simply that straightforward! It may sound unpatriotic, but it's a hard fact to accept: these engineering teams have already contributed immensely to safety advancements; however, to achieve excellence, much of the groundwork would need to be duplicated from scratch. Remember, there is no EXCELLENCE without MOTION, and there is no SUBLIMITY without BLIND ACTION.
This MONTH's THEME is about RELATIONSHIPS, which is a poignant area that so many people grapple with daily. It is an extract from my sixth book entitled, What’s Love?. In this insightful book, I express words that I acquired from my love mentor, whose wisdom I have come to respect profoundly. He told me, 'Women often ask questions in a manner that can lead to misunderstandings. For example, asking a man; Could you help me? or Can you assist me? creates an underlying tone of obligation, which may automatically produce resentment in a man's life. However, if you approached a man by asking; Will you help me? or Would you assist me?, it opens a channel of positive communication. Every man desires to be a woman’s hero, and he would readily respond to such inquiries with a clear mind and utmost willingness. Consider this perspective (Women), if a man proposed to you, asking you - on bended knees, with the most expensive diamond ring in a romantic setting; 'Can you marry me?' or 'Could you marry me?'; how would that make you feel? Exactly what I presumed! That is precisely the sentiment we experience every day when we are approached in a way that lacks consideration and respect for our emotions and aspirations.
In May 2004, while I was navigating the waters of my Secondary school education, I expressed, 'To be longsighted (vision-wise), it is essential to add goodness to your faith, to add knowledge to your goodness, to add self-control to your knowledge, to add endurance to your self-control, to add Godliness to your endurance; and to finally add affection to your Godliness. The only thing left to add, which fully brings everything together, is love.' I continue to stand firmly by these powerful words, as they encapsulate a journey toward self-improvement and awareness.
I wish you, my TONNIEZ family and my FACEBOOK family, a tremendously fulfilling, highly successful, and enriching year in 2014! And always remember, the more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed when war breaks out or life’s challenges confront you!'
Tonny Rutakirwa,
Chairman,
Tonniez Group of Companies